Kelsey Parker has spoken candidly about how “tough” she found her first Christmas without her late husband Tom.
The mother of two, 32, shared how she felt “lonely” during the festive period following The Wanted star’s death in March at age 33 after a year-and-a-half battle with stage four glioblastoma brain cancer.
She took to her Instagram Stories on Thursday to share a video reflecting on her first Christmas without Tom, saying her emotions “came in waves.”
Tough times: Kelsey Parker has spoken candidly about how “difficult” she found her first Christmas without her late husband Tom
She explained, “I survived Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, it was harder than I ever expected. Christmas was so hard for me.
“The emotions came in waves, one minute I was happy, the next I was sad, one minute I was angry, but I’m here and I survived. We are in January and it is a new year.
“You know what, I was talking to my friend earlier and I said, the only way to describe the waves and feelings that you get, as I had it this morning, when I think of Tom, I get this wave, and it’s almost as if you lose a set of keys.
“You have that first feeling when you lose a set of keys of ‘where are my keys?’.” It’s almost like this and you think ‘where is he?’ then I have to reassure myself and pretend ‘he’s not coming back’.’
Loss: The mother of two, 32, shared how she felt ‘lonely’ during the festive period following the death of The Wanted star last March at the age of 33 following a battle with brain cancer
Kelsey – who shared children Aurelia, three, and Bodhi, two, with Tom – went on to say that her eldest child is “her father’s daughter.”
She continued, “Aurelia woke me up four or five times last night. It’s like having a newborn baby again. She’s not back to nursery yet, she’s going back to, well, kindergarten next week.
“With her she just needs to be on the road and doing things and with her activities not back she’s really her dad’s daughter and I don’t think she’s stimulated enough and at night she’s like ‘hey mom let’s have a party'” .’
Kelsey then thanked her 394,000 followers for helping her get through the Christmas period, saying she “couldn’t have done it” without their support.
Christmas: She took to her Instagram Stories on Thursday to share a video of her reflecting on her first Christmas without Tom, saying her emotions “came in waves” amid her grief
She added, “I also wanted to say that I wouldn’t be able to go through any of this if it wasn’t for you guys.
“Your DMs, your messages, everything, I can’t get to all of you, but you have truly been the greatest support in getting me through this period.
“I didn’t realize how difficult the Christmas season would be and how lonely and sad it is. But luckily I have a village, I have a team, I have my family and my friends, who are great.’
Her latest comments come after she shared a candid post about living with grief on New Year’s Day alongside a photo of her in a sparkly jumpsuit.
Family: Kelsey – who shared children Aurelia, three, and Bodhi, two, with Tom – went on to say that her eldest child is “her father’s daughter”
Kelsey expressed her mixed feelings about leaving 2022 behind, writing, “It’s hard to move forward without looking back.”
As she looked forward to the new year, Kelsey said it was hard not to think back on her loss and the heartbreaking grief that accompanied it.
However, she said she stays positive with the help of her and Tom’s two children, noting that they learn to grow around their grief, with Kelsey adding a diagram to demonstrate the feeling.
Reflective: Her latest comments come after she shared a candid post about living with grief on New Year’s Day alongside a photo of her in a sparkly jumpsuit
Difficulties: Kelsey expressed mixed feelings about leaving 2022 behind: ‘It’s hard to move forward without looking back’
She wrote, “Hello 2023. I wonder what you have in store for us. To be honest, I don’t really know how I feel about the new year.
“I want to be hopeful, to look forward to, but it’s hard to move forward without looking back.
“I know whatever it brings, with Rae and Bo by my side, the year will be full of smiles, fun and positivity. We carry on as we were in 2022, living with our grief and growing around it.
“I look forward to sharing it all with you and however you have left 2022, I wish you love and happiness for 2023.”
Grief: As she looked forward to the new year, Kelsey (pictured with Tom in 2016) said it was hard not to think back on her loss and the heartbreaking grief that came with it